just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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