The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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