Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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