We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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