If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
