So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize