Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
