I'm drive I can fine osifer
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
