what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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