what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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