there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
