Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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