I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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