I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
