If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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