But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
