Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
