i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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