Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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