just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think your dad took our porno
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
