Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize