were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
