I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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