my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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