some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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