dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize