New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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