ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize