Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
