Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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