Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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