You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize