My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
