god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
sex in a hospital.. check
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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