we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
