she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
