Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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