We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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