champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
