Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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