***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
