I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
