Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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