Can i not drive my cunt home
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
