Sry I called you an 8
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
