I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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