Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it hurts more in the daytime
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
