You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
