how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
