My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
