happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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