Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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