I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This is the high leading the old right now
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
