Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
